First post

I've decided to keep this shady blog as a kind of diary in case one should be necessary. Basically, having passed the grand old age of 50, I got called in for a mammogram. The mobile breast cancer screening unit was set up in a nearby village, so I drove there and was in and out of the mobile van in 5 minutes. Not all that comfortable but not as bad as I'd expected. I did worry a little that on the first screen (they did 4 in total) I hadn't heard the instruction to hold my breath, but I don't think I moved alot.

Yesterday, a week later, I opened a letter from the breast cancer unit expecting to read the all clear. Instead I was recalled for additional tests. An appointment has been made next Thursday 4th Feb.

Dave was leaving for California today, and always finds these travels a bit stressful, so I decided to keep the news to myself until after the next appt. According to the leaflet, the majority of recalls require no further action - maybe the scan wasn't clear enough, or there is some sort of benign anomaly. However I won't know for sure until after Thursday. Dave isn't back until Saturday so whatever happens it gives me time to decide on a course of action.

Of course, if the news is bad, it will mess up my plans for Nepal. But I guess that's fairly small fry compared to living or dying.

But I'm getting ahead of myself here. I'm not worrying particulary as I've always said that there is no point wasting time worrying until the thing you're worrying about has actually happened. I'd hate to waste a week worrying and then find that the only reason I'd been recalled was because my breast tissue was too dense to be easily scanned. This is my hope. Younger women have dense breast tissue which can't be scanned properly. Well, people always say I look young for my age. Maybe, physically, I am. That would be interesting (and quite a relief).

I have an overwhelming urge to tell somebody. My logical choice is Fiona as we both lived through our Mother's breast cancer and eventual death. However, again, I don't see any point in worrying her unless there really is something to worry about. But by the same token, if I get to Thursday and there is a real cause for concern, it would be nice to have somebody primed to talk it over with.  To be honest, she's the only choice. She and I spent over a year managing our parents' slow deterioration to death. She is, at least, very pragmatic about things, as am I. Oddly enough, having seen breast cancer at first hand feels like a bonus. I don't think I have any illusions. I know how awful it will get, if that is what I am diagnosed with.

However, I don't intend to just give up. Both Fiona and I bought the Jane Plant book about the benefits of a dairy free diet for curing cancer (in a nutshell). I seem to have mislaid my copy - probably lent it to someone, but I've looked on Amazon and it's under £7 and there are other recipe books to go with it. So that's what I'll do if things don't go well.

Fingers crossed.